Nikelis' Motivation!!!

While Erik and I were making memories in Hawaii the kids were left to try and enjoy life without us. Nikelis started T-ball again and apparently he wasn't having the best time. When it was our turn to start taking him to practice we saw just how much he wasn't enjoying it. Despite that Erik was so excited to see his boy playing sports so what did Daddy do? He took him to Academy and bought the little boy his very own bat, bag, and upgraded his ball. Nikelis was beaming with enthusiasm. He wanted to go home and immediately play with his new tools!!! Too bad, Texas' finicky weather cancelled practice, but Daddy took care of that. They broke in his new gadgets at home making him even more anxious to practice and have a game with them. Watching him play on Saturday it was obvious he'd found a new thirst for the game. He is the cutest thing to watch run the bases!!! He may not understand the entire concept, but I love that he loves to play!!! He is getting so big(not in size) and I get sad thinking that one day he won't be able to fit in my arms. Right now though, we're enjoying the smiles he brings to all our faces. I LOVE THAT LITTLE BOY!!!
Oh, by the way...our little Tigers won their first game!!! Whoop Whoop!!!

Determination...and...Hard Work

Last night Erik, the kids, Stefan and I went to an art show in Mansfield. This night was so special because Nick's art was being sold in the show. We had no idea that when we walked into the gallery that it would look like Nick's work would have taken over most of the walls (and floor)!!! It was amazing to see how far he has come and to actually be standing in the middle of his passion. I've been to a show of his before, but not like this. Last night showed his dedication and his drive, we were in awe watching Nick mingle with potential buyers and art connoisseurs, but nothing made our hearts swoon as much as watching people wanting to take pictures with him and his art.

Erik has known Nick for nearly his entire life and he has always seen great things in him, but when he saw Nick's dream start to become a reality last night he was practically speachless. He is so proud to be able to be apart of something that is so important to his best friend. We always joke that we have such a normal life that we have to live vicariously through Nick, however I've been thinking about all the things in life that mean so much to Erik and I. Our passion is eachother and our kids. Life is what you make it and we know that ours is one that a lot of people look for their whole lives, but Nick...he is making his dream a reality. Every day that passes he is one day closer to living his true passion, living off of his work. We feel so very very lucky to be able to watch, support and join in on his triumph.

it's the little things...

While Erik was gone this past deployment we didn't really think of all the things that he does on a daily basis. All we were consumed with was the void of him not being here. But now that he is back we are noticing and loving all the little things that make him so special to our family. He is without a doubt irreplaceable and I cannot explain what kind of feeling I get when I see him interacting, no, enjoying his babies. Things like helping Mikaylah with her homework or giving the kids piggy back rides or letting Nikelis think he has the upperhand in a wrestling match are what gives our family its heartbeat. When he was gone we tended to skip a beat, now everything is in sync with the Estrada family and nothing has ever felt better.

I'm with Jason Statham!!!

Everyone, I'm sure, has seen Jason Stathom in movies like Crank and The Transporter. I couldn't help but roll my eyes when Erik first told me that people think he looks like Jason Stathom. Well, last night while having one of our regular dinner dates with Nick and Addy, she just blurts out that Erik reminds her of Mr. Stathom. Mind you Erik was grinning from ear to ear and he says, "That's not the first time I've heard that!" What a chum!!! We were at the social security office today and he says something about being Jason Stathom, so to prove him wrong I asked the nice lady that was helping us. To my dismay she agreed with Erik's fan base!!! Haha....so here he is ladies and gentlemen: no longer is he Erik Estrada, guy from chips, he is Jason Stathom, guy from Crank!!! What a hamburger I have...lucky me!!! LoL.....

Excuse me Mr. Manufacturer!!!

As much as cameras are apart of our everyday lives I think they ALL should be made to withstand a whole lot more than they do. I mean come on, if Erik's bum finds itself sitting on my nearly brand new camera I don't think it should get crushed. Or if we are racing to win a game of disc golf and my few weeks old camera pops out of my jacket and bounces and rolls a few feet why does it get to not work properly? By the way I'm pretty sure I won, even though we weren't really keeping score!!!

Just a thought, but all cameras need to come equiped to handle anything that pops up...including liquid!!!

Oh well, at least it still worked well enough for me to share that I made a brand spankin new dessert tonight. My zucchini bread (thanks to Steph and mom for the recipe!!!) and french vanilla ice cream was so great in our mouths that our tummies screamed "thank you"!!!

Some people...I swear!!!

Yesterday while the kids and I were decorating the house one of our neighbors (in a wheelchair, Ms. Martha) came up and asked if we were campaigning. I explained to her that it was my husband coming home and that we weren't quite done, we were going to buy some mylar balloons for the outside. Well, today I found a surprise outside. Ms. Martha took it upon herself to contribute her love and support by buying balloons for my outside. The kids were peaking outside and saw these big balloons just sitting out there. I was so shocked and so taken aback by her generosity and patriotism. I couldn't have asked for a better neighbor. Erik's eyes lit up as he saw all of our decorations at the house (okay, apartment) and he is riding high on cloud 9 right now. Tonight is a night we've dreamt of for so long that its crazy to think that this is our reality. Life is absolutely wonderful.........and I got a realization that there are still people out there that have such big hearts. Thank you Ms. Martha!!!
At the airport the kids were screaming and jumping for joy as they saw their Daddy coming through those rotating doors. To be a kid again and enjoy the height they reached today...What a gift that would be to feel what they felt. I truly believe that you can't fully experience real LOVE until you've experienced it through a child's heart....try it, you'll be amazed, I promise ;-). Once again...I cannot explain how much this life means to me and how absolutely blessed I feel to have whiny little kids and a husband that pushes me to my limits. And as we sit here with Nick & Addy I cannot help but thank God for all that he's given me in this life. Holy crappola's...guess what??? Erik & I are sleeping in OUR bed tonight for the first time in almost 7 months!!! Hahaha...goodnight all!!!

It just gets better and better!!!

What a long day today has been...but it was such a great one!!! I actually woke up early and stayed up, I know big kudos for me! The kids and I did some running around to get ready for Erik's HOMEcoming tomorrow morning!!! When we got home first things first: childrens ears needed cleaning. Let me just tell you, one of the most disgusting things that come out of these little poopers is ear wax. I did take pictures for Erik but I won't put you through the agony of having to see it!!! After that the kiddos made their posters for Daddy. Nikelis was so frustrated because he thought that his poster just wasn't up to par with Kaylah's. However he was so far from the truth, he did such an awesome job, drawing the cutest, odd shaped, hearts and handprints and even trying a flower because Kaylah made one. Not to mention he is getting really good at writing his name!!! Each of us took turns blowing up heart balloons; some are filled not only with air but spit as well...haha. And Mikaylah and I nearly broke our fingers trying to tie them off. There are now strung around the house with stars and silver ribbon!!! It's not too shabby for an hours worth of work. I even put my special touch hanging a pink carousel of daisies from the ceiling fan. Oh you know there's no getting around that!!! The only thing that's missing is a few balloons that will be taken care of tomorrow, gracious (like that Porter? LoL) to Party City.

After making sure the banner was secure we rushed over to Las Amigas to meet my friends, Angela and Pat, we had some catching up to do. Nearly two hours later we finally part ways in front of our new fave Mexi joint! It was such a good time yappin our jaws and laughing telling them all about my escapade to Hawaii with that Love O mine and hearing about their time while I was away. I absolutely enjoyed sipping on some horchata and relaxing with the DeDona's after such a busy busy day.

Now all we have to wait is a few more hours till Daddy's home!!! Tomorrow's the day that we've been dreaming about for so long...Ok, off to make the cake and settle my anxious kids down, hopefully for the night!!!

A night of sweet sweet melodies!!!

I forgot that I had this...one night in Hawaii Erik & I hung out with our friends, the Tinae's. They showed us just how talented their family is!!!! It was a privilege to be apart of the good times we shared!!! I can't wait to see my Tinae's again!!!! Here's just a preview of what went on that night. Tausala is on the guitar and Tiare has lead vocals....

Getting back to normal...I think...

I've been home for a whole day now and I was welcomed by my little suction cups (LoL...thanks Annie) who are so much closer than when I left them. Over the past few weeks I was able to regain my relationship I missed so much with Erik...and my kids who used to irratate the beejesus out of eachother have seemingly gained an entirely new loving respect for eachother. They both are about the same height since I've last seen them, give or take a couple of inches, but they have grown so much. They've grown closer to one another and they've grown closer to Erik and I even though we haven't been able to spend barely anytime with them yet (let alone any for Erik). Nikelis still ignores Mikaylah when she asks for help, and Mikaylah still shooshes him when she thinks he is too loud or just plain talking too much. But where one goes the other is surely to be there as well. Like dancing for 20 minutes in the bathroom at Mac Grill or brushing their teeth together at the moment. They laugh and they play so loudly and innocently that it melts my heart knowing they've been able to become so connected. They conspire with eachother to hide their clothes that I've been telling them to put away since this morning. Mikaylah is the greatest big sister Nikelis could have and he loves her so much you can see it in his twinkly little eyes. I hope and pray they stay this way for the rest of their lives, but I'm not disillisioned to know that it may only last a few more years. I can't wait for Erik to get here and see his babies interacting in their newfound friendship.
The bags are all nearly unpacked and the clothes are semi put away and theres food in the refrigerator, but it still doesn't feel like its normal. Erik isn't here and I left my little poopers for 3 weeks to have a rendevous in paradise. Yet, on the otherhand, hindsight is 20/20 and I have to admit that the decisions Erik and I made to spend an extended holiday in Hawaii without our babies was the best thing we could have done for all of us. The memories I brough home are now placed in my heart and the realization that my children can survive without me makes me feel extremely less guilty. I know that I have been tremendously blessed in this life and I smiled all day staring at those blessings.

Forever Daddy's Girl

By Erik:

Tonight was Daisy's last night here in Hawaii. We decided to spend it with her Uncle and her dad Darrell Bajo. Darell is a simple man that says what he means and who has an extremely tough exterior. This is a dad that was a bare knuckle fighter, Harley riding, work-aholic. The man is darn near 50 and working 6 days a week about 16 hour days of hard labor. Tough a man as I have ever met. However on this night I saw his rhino skin peel away like a banana's skin.

You could always tell he cared for Daisy but this trip to Hawaii seemed different. I saw him right before I left on deployment and he was carrying a heavy heart. Then when Daisy and I saw him the various times this trip his eyes came alive. The years of hardship, age and worries lifted from the old mans face. His eyes lit up and I swear he automatically lost about 15 years. As for Daisy she ran up to him like a little girl and threw her arms around her Daddy. Their hug was tight and filled with love. You could see his pride, excitement and regret all in just a few moments. Pride that his daughter was now a mother with two extraordinary kids, excitement of seeing his baby girl back from Texas and regret that he wasted the few years prior to his daughter's leaving the island. A true hallmark moment.

So back to tonights dinner:

By Daisy Mae...

These past few weeks I have had so many memorable experiences!!! I got to spend unforgettable moments with extraordinary friends, whom are more than that, they will now and forever be my family. I had drinks with people I love and timeless memories with my soul's mate. But tonight as I sat at a table filled with my Daddy, my uncle (my mother's brother) and his family, and my Love I couldn't believe how much my heart swole with emotion. My uncle Phil and his family have always shown Erik and I what true family is. They have been married for nearly 25 years and together for longer than that. They have 3 great, albeit a little crazy at times, kids that I can only hope mine come close to being. When I think of a great marriage I always think of theirs, not that I don't have great family, but they've stood the test of time and hardship. I'm blessed to have them in my life and I'm blessed that they love me as much as they do. Life would be much harder without them.

But tonight my heart soared when my Dad surprised me by saying he would join us for dinner so that he could see me on my last night. Let me just be honest, there are times when I am a little dissapointed with my Dad's choices, however that was never enough for me to hate him in the least. Tonight our laughter and smiles brought me back to when I was a child and I didn't have a care in the world and when I was hurt these two men were the ones that came running!!! My Dad, Daddy, fit in so well that there didn't seem to be any awkwardness even though he was sitting with his ex-wife's family. As dinner wound down I tried more and more to stall the goodbyes that were inevitable. We took a few pictures for my weary heart and I hugged everyone. The one that tore me apart was when my Dad wrapped his arms so tightly around me and said 3 little words every little girl loves hearing from her Daddy: I love you. Nothing could stop my tears from flowing or my voice from quivering. I asked him to try hard to come and see me in the states, and with every ounce of conviction he could muster up without crying himself he said he would. I didn't want to let go, I didn't want to walk away from my Daddy...I know I'll see him again, I just don't know when and I don't like that feeling. As the tears stream down my face right now I have no other words that can express how much this hurts me tonight. I hope every little girl out there tells their Daddy just how much they mean to them, and I hope that my little girl one day writes something like this (without having to say goodbye) about Erik.

Ultimate Love...

Unconditional...Neverending...With all My Heart...Need it to Survive...Brings Me Peace...LOVE...I LOVE MY BABIES!!!
You truly cannot know the most powerful feeling of real love until you experience the joy of being of a parent. They are the light of my life...I am without a doubt a lucky girl!!!

Something needs to give already!!!

There's always a person in your life that at any given moment you want to make sure that they are ok and want to make anything that upsets them go away. Erik and I truly do that for eachother, but this isn't about how our love is heaven sent, this is about a friend that is so much more.

Annie has been, as you know, in my life forever and I wouldn't have it any other way. What kills me is that she has to go through such a hard time right now. I hate seeing her in pain and there really is nothing I can do to make it better. She was so excited to come back to Hawaii and to be able to finally spend some good quality time with her love, Porter, without having to rush their excursions. Instead they were thrust into a life that would keep Porter from having any real schedule or time to be home with her. That's left her to try to start a household from scratch basically all by herself and then to live by her phone in the hopes that he will call and tell her to come pick him up or that he's finally on his way home after at least a 12 hour day. They find solace in eachother in the few hours they can squeeze in but it absolutely breaks my heart knowing that they aren't getting the quality they need. With all his previous training and deployements, this was supposed to be the break their hearts ached for. Sometimes I wonder why things are the way they are and why sometimes we get the breaks and other times we are left to suck it up. I want so badly to be able to make them both feel better, but I know nothing I or Erik do or try to do will.

I just wanted to write my feelings because even though Erik and I love to be here with them we feel a little cheated too, we were looking forward to spending time with Porter as well. I know, it sounds selfish, but we've been looking forward to this time with them for so long and now because of this voluntold job he has his family has to suffer. I know it's rough on Porter and I have to hand it to him, he is doing a spectacular job at handling everything. He completely lets Annie fall apart and like the great man that he is he picks up all the pieces and makes her so happy. I love Annie and I love seeing these two people together, like chips and dip, they are made for eachother!!!

I'm truly blessed in this life to have them as my family, I'm going to hate having to leave them, but I am thankful for this time I get to spend with them.

Welcome Home...

Life...what a crazy crazy ride its been. One week ago the other half of my heart marched into a hangar with 297 other soldiers ending a lifetime away from their loved ones. As I sat there watching him turn in his weapon and grin from ear to ear I couldn't hold in my excitement, I was a kid again, squealing and screaming everytime his gorgeous face popped onto the screen. My knees were so weak with anticipation that they were shaking even before the door was open to make way for their entrance. I was forced to stand right in front of him as he stood straightfaced in formation for what seemed like a good hour (realtime = about 5 minutes!). All the while I'm making "I love you" gestures and getting into my runners pose so we can lock lips and arms as soon as possible. Nothing in life can prepare you for the emotion that runs through your body when you come face to face with knowing your soulmate has safely returned from the pits of hell to be one with you again. It was like nothing else in the world made more sense than that moment when our lips met for the first time after 6 months. There are really no words that can accurately illustrate how I feel about my husband, I never ever thought a love could be this strong. These past 15 months he was at the mercy of a force much stronger than we'll ever know, how lucky am I, along with 297 other families, to be able to look into the eyes, kiss once more, and be held so passionately by the man that hangs my moon. This truly is one of those makes you stop in your tracks, heart pounding, never want to be without it kind of loves...

What I can't leave out about this memorable night is that as overwhelmed as my heart was there was also laughter that I wouldn't give back. I made mention of being weak in the knees earlier, well I literally was weak. Erik and I made a grand plan to meet at a specific destination, well being the eager beaver I was to touch him I deviated. Just before our hands met my knee went crashing into the floor. There was nothing any of us could do but laugh, and we did. I know that whoever saw me will never forget it. My knight in green ACU's had to carry me out of the hangar because there was no way I could do it myself!!! Yes, I keep our lives full of surprise, fun, and best of all humor!!!

I have never felt more humbled and appreciative of all the things God has given me in this life. Erik makes me feel completely alive and our children make me see all the beauty in life when everything seems so dark. My family and very close friends are an amazing part of this craziness...they truly keep me sane in these tough and happy times!!!